As most of you know, at the end of the month, the Charlottesville City Schools will be going on their annual “Fall Break”–Thanksgiving–which will last from the 22-26th of November. Charlottesville High School will return on that monday and will have exactly thirteen days of school until the four-day exam schedule starts for the high school students, a.k.a. MIDTERMS. So what we have to look forward to right now, is the five-day weekend that Fall Break brings along with it. If you’re like me you’re just looking forward to eating good food, football, and no school.But as we all know, the holidays can be tough, especially when extended family is involved.

I’ll give you the bad news first; you aren’t going to have the perfect Thanksgiving–not this year, not next year, and honestly, probably not ever. It’s just impossible. I’m sure all of your dreams are to sleep in, then wake up for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and see your favorite float high in the sky in downtown New York, then cozy up on the couch and watch the classic Thanksgiving movie (“A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”), then maybe play some family games–football if you’re the outdoorsy active type, or some indoor games if you’re not. Then after some screaming and laughing in a wild game of charades everyone makes their way to the table for a pleasant dinner with the whole family with all of your favorites on the table. After you’ve enjoyed a feast with the family, and you’ve unbuckled your belt a few notches, the sporty family members make their way into the T.V. room to watch the big Thursday night game. After a great game that you’ve enjoyed by the fire, that goes into overtime and is up for Game of the Year ends, you make your way to your room for a nice slumber and wake up Friday morning to the fact that you have a full weekend ahead of you. If you think that all of this is going to happen then you’re completely ludicrous.

There’s various reasons why sleeping in won’t happen: family coming to town, traveling to family, chores around the house, helping prepare the feast, etc. Also, the parade that you’ve been looking forward to all year starts at nine o’clock in the morning, so your dream of sleeping in won’t workout, and if it does, bye-bye parade time!  

Next you plan on watching a classic holiday special, well, bummer, because instead, your parents want you to spend time with the family and not in front of the television. like we all know you are all the time.

You might get lucky with the football game unless you’ve got a younger family member in the game because then it’s all about them. Or you might have the type of family member who is way too competitive and takes everything way too far.

Family charades may get hazardous because maybe what you’re acting out isn’t good enough for your one teammate so you get annoyed and leave the family game.

All you’ve been looking forward to ALL day is that good ole’ Thanksgiving dinner because you are STARVING. Things get really awkward when the food comes out and everything is vegan because your sister has come home and has decided to be vegan from now on, so you’re stuck with Tofurky for thanksgiving.

Oh, and don’t forget 21 Questions with your grandparents about how school is going.

So you’ve struck out in every area of the day, and all you want is to relax on the couch and watch the big Thursday night football game with the family. Well, jokes on you! That “big game” consists of the Giants (1-6) traveling to Washington to play the Redskins (3-4). Yes, quite the snoozefest to end your night.

Here’s my advice to you on Thanksgiving: ghost everyone in your entire family for the whole day, literally just treat them like your middle school relationships–text ONLY. Avoid all family members and any conversations possible, because 9/10 times it will be about something you just don’t want to talk about (college). Honestly, your plan all day should be to hideout in your bedroom, get some really good takeout, and pray that your WiFi doesn’t crash, because you’re going to be watching A LOT of Netflix on Thanksgiving.

All I can say is, good luck, and that I wish the best for all of you. Happy Thanksgiving!