If You Give a Crap Where You Crap

Autumn Hiller and Caspar Henneman, Editor-in-Chief and Sports Editor

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We all need to go to the bathroom. For many of us, we don’t hold ourselves until we reach the comfort of our homes which leaves us with the only option of the school bathrooms. The K.T.R. has personally ranked all of them at C.H.S. so let’s get down to business on where we…do our business. 

Worst to First Girls Bathrooms:

In the back Locker Rooms: 

Out of the three stalls, only one is decent. One of them spews out toilet water when you flush it and the door doesn’t have a lock, so if you like to get super soaked by toilets with the door wide open, this is the stall for you. And in the last stall, the only privacy you’re getting is a see-through shower curtain! Ahh, the luxury. 0.5/5 Stars

GT/HT: 

If you are in a rush, this is NOT the bathroom to go to – there are  It becomes incredibly crowded during class changes and as of this week (October 9th) there have been some drainage issues causing some backups and flooding of liquids we never want to see again…But there are paper towels so you decide for yourself. 2.5/5 Stars

Cafeteria:

 One of the stalls doesn’t have a lock, so make sure you have a buddy to hold the door closed unless you want to figure out a way to pee and keep your privacy because it’s on you. This handicapped stall is by far the most popular for …hangouts. 3/5 Stars

A200s: 

The first stall is either out of service or someone hasn’t flushed. But it does have that one tiny stall that’s always clean. The other stalls all close but the stalls don’t have the most privacy. It also gets pretty crowded during class changes. 3/5 Stars

C100s: 

This bathroom is basically unusable during the winter season; it becomes an actual icebox. It’s a perfectly fine bathroom except it’s probably, maybe, but definitely haunted by past C.H.S. students. Maybe that’s why it’s so cold. 3.5/5 Stars

Gym Locker Room:

This bathroom is probably the least problematic. It just isn’t really available during all your classes other than gym… But there is a large mirror and all the stalls work and close! So it’s already pretty high up on the list! There are even paper towels. I would give it a full 5 stars but its location is unfortunate. 4/5 Stars 

Gym Lobby/Blackbox:

This bathroom isn’t always unlocked so it’s like a nice little surprise when it is. This bathroom has two large mirrors which are clear benefits for the girls. However, 1 of the stalls doesn’t completely close. 4/5 Stars

C200s. This is one of the more popular girl bathrooms. All the sinks work and all stalls close. It tends to be pretty clean. But like in all the girls’ bathrooms, the one mirror can get really crowded. 4.5/5 Stars

Autumn Hiller
The infamous curtained girls’ bathroom in the back locker room.

Worst to First Boys Bathrooms: 

B200: 

This bathroom looks like one you would find in a subway in New York. The handicap stall door is quite bent and doesn’t close which makes it difficult to poop in peace, the middle stall also doesn’t close because of the fact that it doesn’t have a lock. With only one working stall, this is not an ideal bathroom to use. Like most boys bathrooms, there are zero mirrors which adds to a very unenjoyable bathroom experience, paired with the fact that it is always crowded and my feet stick to the ground when I tried to walk, this bathroom is not the move. 1/5 stars.

C200:

As soon as I walked into this bathroom, I knew I had made a grave mistake. The cleanliness is not great, but it’s about what you would expect from a school bathroom. The handicap stall toilet seat is covered in burns from some sort of contraband I assume, but that has been the case for my tenure at C.H.S. This is not the major problem in this bathroom, however, the real problem is its popularity and its little privacy. It is a fairly small bathroom and the average occupancy is 3-4 during classes and 8-10 during transitional periods in my estimation. If it’s an emergency it’s fine, but if you can hold it, avoid it. 2/5 stars.

Back Gym Bathroom: 

This bathroom is subpar, but certainly not the worst. The biggest problem with the bathroom is how small it is. Because of this, there is only enough space for two stalls as well as two urinals that have no divider in between them. This is a major red flag on privacy, but thankfully it is not in a very populous part of the school. In addition, this bathroom uses paper towels instead of hand dryers which is my preferred method of hand drying, however, it is not as eco-friendly. The one redeeming quality is the feature of two mirrors which are few and far between in the boys’ bathrooms around the building. 2.7/5 stars. 

B100 AKA Cafeteria Bathroom:

This bathroom is among the better bathrooms at C.H.S., but it’s all about when to use it. Before school and during lunch, this bathroom is the absolute WORST for someone who appreciates even an ounce of privacy, since it is so crowded. Unlike some of the other bathrooms, all of the stalls lock, and there are plenty of urinals to go around. This bathroom is the second on this list that has a mirror, which is essential in bathrooms in my opinion. 3.3/5 stars. 

Locker Room Bathroom: 

There is nothing wrong with this bathroom other than the very strong smell of sweaty clothes and its inconvenient location unless you’re in the gym.3.5/5 stars. 

Gym/Black Box Bathroom:

This bathroom is definitely above average compared to other bathrooms on this list. It has a very convenient location if you’re in the P.A.C. wing of the school, plus it’s rarely crowded. This is the designated bathroom during sporting events in the gym, so it’s kept in pretty nice shape and has two mirrors and no broken stalls. 4/5 stars.  

C100 Bathroom: 

Rounding out our list with by far the best bathroom at C.H.S. comes from the end of the C100 hallway. This is definitely one of the cleanest bathrooms at C.H.S. and certainly the least crowded, yet in a fairly convenient location. The only downsides are the handicap stall doesn’t lock (sorry to the people who only use handicap stalls) but there’s no need for it since it’s usually deserted; also, it doesn’t have a mirror which is also a bummer, but I will take privacy over a mirror any day of the week. 4.7/5 stars.